Today my physical therapist told me that my muscles “just don’t work right.” This might sound harsh to some, but to me, these words were incredibly validating.

I have lived in chronic pain for nearly 13 years. I suffer from Endometriosis which went undiagnosed for 11 years. Endometriosis is one of the top 20 most painful conditions a person can experience. For over a decade, I was told the excruciating pain I experience was all in my head.

Doctors misdiagnosing Endometriosis is unfortunately common. Despite over 176 million people worldwide suffering from this illness, it takes on average 7–10 years to get a diagnosis.

I happen to have Deeply Infiltrating Endometriosis, which means that it is deep within the tissue. Deeply Infiltrating Endometriosis only affects 5–20% of people with Endometriosis, and it is the most aggressive and painful form of the disease. Living for so long with no treatment, my body bore the brunt of the pain.

Being in pain as long as I have can really take a toll on the body. I have been in physical therapy for 18 months, have had surgery to remove some of my Endometriosis and live my life around placating my disease. Even with that, my physical therapist is baffled by how poorly my musculoskeletal system functions.

While others might be offended, it is incredibly validating to hear that my muscles aren’t working rather than being told the pain is all psychosomatic. Even now, having a pathological diagnosis, I am subject to gaslighting myself. I will be curled up on in a ball on the floor one minute, and telling myself it can’t really be that bad 10 minutes after the pain passes.

The thing about an invisible illness is that the world does not consider me disabled. Yet, if people looked a little closer or with a little bit more empathy, maybe they would see the visible parts of my disability.

I walk with a cane. I have large circular bruises on my back from the Chinese ancient healing practice, cupping, which eases my tension pain. I have small, pinprick bruises from dry needling, a modern pain treatment where my physical therapist sticks needles into my trigger points and releases them. I have heat pads under my clothes. I have piles of relaxation and pain management devices by the couch.

Most disabilities are invisible. Given that disabled people make up the largest minority in the world, it is important that able-bodied people learn about disabilities and ableism. Including learning about invisible disabilities.

Allow people to sit down in the store or wherever they need to, even if they seem too young to need it (there’s no such thing). Learn a little bit about your friend’s disabilities. Caption your videos and add image IDs to your photos. Learn about basic accessibility. And believe people when they share their truth.